the red wedding ruined my emotional constitution.

It bugs me how much money our church (back home) has poured into the Camp. First of all, it was being rustic and broken-down and without plumbing and breaking safety and health codes that made our camp awesome. Now that there’s like…showers, and toilets, and a mess hall with electricity, it just….fills me with a sort of malcontent indignation. Plus the fact that all that money could go to people who actually need it (dare I say Glory Garden) and instead it all just went into a camp…for ourselves. I feel like there are people who do camp better, who have been doing camp for years, and who already have the facilities and utilities in place that we will never have, so we should stop trying to be them. What made our camp cool or different was that it was so unbelievably….in the other direction. We were proud to be the broken-down, white trash equivalent of Christian Church Camp. We were unapologetically out of touch with everything that could be considered modern or safe. And godammit, we LIKED it that way. Having a awe-inspiring camp facility was never our thing and I don’t think it should be our thing. Besides the fact that you guys live in Grande Prairie. Having an awesome summer camp is kind of antithetical to living in the present when summer only happens, like, four weeks out of the year. Anyway I guess I should stop complaining about it because I do not live there anymore. But I can do what I want today because there’s a motherfucking war going on my uterus.

Speaking of treachery and betrayal, I was so shocked by Game of Thrones last night. This was literally my face :


Also, this :


I mean, I’ve become pretty densisitized to shit that’s in movies and tv. Some say it’s my spiritual gift. I’m not proud of it. My point is, it takes a LOT to shock me or for me to be like “I am going to turn this off because that’s how disgusted I am.” But, to my surprise, this has happened TWICE this week. First, I watched a movie called “The Watch.” Do not watch The Watch. You will regret it. The plot was so inane that I was instantly bored. The whole movie was just a vehichle for Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill to riff off each other. You could tell there was obviously not a whole lot of written dialogue. Which can be awesome or a disaster, depending on the movie. Anyway, after meandering around a bit, it eventually got to an “orgy scene”, which made absolutely no sense for it to be in there – you could tell they just put it in there for gratuity’s sake, and because some people just like seeing titties and ass. Well that’s great if you do, but I don’t really care and I don’t want to see it. So I shut it off. Would I have shut it off if I wasn’t with Mike, who struggles with those sorts of things? I think if I wasn’t with other people, I would have shut it off in the beginning because it just bored me. So that happened.

Anyway, on to Game of Thrones. I didn’t shut it off, because it was ridiculously well staged and acted, but it was just so violent that I felt bad in my heart afterward. I knew it was going to happen because I’d read the books, but I wasn’t expecting them to stab Talisa five times in her pregnant belly as a precipitating act. That was the part that shocked me the most.  And when they slit Catelyn’s throat, I was like NOOOO. This is like Sweeney Todd except there is no Tim Burton or Johnny Depp to ease my pain. I prefer a good old-fashioned chest stab to a throat-slitting. I don’t know why, there’s just something about slit throats that make me go….egughadfjfl. Her performance was staggering. But the whole thing was so unbelievably brutal. I think because the characters that died were ones that were so major and, one believed, integral to the story. But now it’s like that whole storyline is just dead, and all the things that could have happened are now dead along with it. Not to mention the emotional attachment the audience had to those characters. To be honest, Robb and Catelyn are not my favourite characters. I find Robb kind of boring and Catelyn annoys me because she doesn’t love Jon Snow. But I really wanted there to be a chance, someday, in the future, where the Starks could re-unite. It just made it all the more sadder that the last time they saw each other was the last time they saw each other. Forever. And it just makes that separation, even though it happened in the past, all the more TRAGIC. And I mean, Arya was literally 100 yards away while the whole thing was happening. Now she only has Sansa and Sansa is sooooooo DUMB. Alas, this fragile heart of mine shall never mend! But I have one consolation – I’m pretty sure, like 96.7% sure, that Joffrey is going to die in the next episode at his wedding. THANK YOU JESUS!!!! (Although Jesus has almost nothing to do with killing off fictional characters that I hate). But seriously, I have been waiting for Joffrey’s come-uppance for SO LONG. Every scene he’s in, I’m just like, “Man, I can’t wait until you get yours….betch.”

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