How To Tell If Your Roommate Is Gay

“Did you know there’s a name for men who love My Little Pony? They’re called bronies. It’s like a tv show. At first when I watched it, I was like, I CANNOT stand for this. But then I watched it some more and now I totally love it.”

Matthew says shit like this ALL the time without realizing how it sounds. It kind of reminds me of Tobias but different. He is my new favourite roommate because he is so endlessly entertaining. I don’t think he is gay though because one time I sneakily showed him a catalogue of vibrators (pretending it was a bath & body works catalogue….although his enthusiasm for a bath & body works catalogue may also be a direct indicator) and he screamed. 

i really want to work in a garden center but I can’t because they’re not hiring.

OH LORD I NEED A JOB.

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