Title Of My Life Memoirs

Which I intend to write NEVER, by the way, unless I can write a book full of gossip about myself, my family, and everybody I’ve ever interacted with. Often people say to me “You should write an autobiography!” When I’ve shared a particularly weird/disturbing story from my past – I’ll admit it. Weird shit does happen to me. Without warning, and frequently. But I am not going to put that in print. I’ve got my dignity to think about. However, I do like coming up with TITLES to my life memoirs. Here are some working titles that have presented themselves to me through a) literary works of Lucy Maud Montgomery b) Movies/tv shows and c) things other people have said, either out loud or on twitter, that have inadvertently described my whole life :

Don’t You Dast Go Touching It

I Am Not In The Habit Of Sending For Albert During Family Difficulties

Ambisinistrous : Clumsy With Both Hands

Stern About Justice

If You Don’t Like My Content Then You’re Not My Audience

Protect The Cats

I Like To Exercise A Little Gumption On The Quiet

You May Experience The Emptiness With Me If You Wish

Inspired By The Kardashians

I Will Personally Bury My Spear In His Rump

A Disservice To Humanity

I Am So Over The Toxic Masculinity In This Hallway Right Now

Below Average But Still Good

Too White For This

Before I Punch You In The Crotch

I Would Do It For A Scooby Snack

That’s The Sassiest Owl I’ve Ever Seen

Angry Wizard Princess

I’m Very Non-Physically Resourceful


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